Neighborhood Fight!!!!

Folks, i write this after having gone through a state of utter bewilderment!

I WAS NOT THERE, regrettably so, as i missed an epic Youtube moment, but i got this sizzling news a few days later. However, this didn't kill the "zing" though i had to settle as a news recepient of this very true story that happened in my neighborhood a few days ago.

I will tell the story as best as i can, and in my amateur writer style, will give you guys a visual of what went down.

Olwatuuka.....


My two neighbors, the first neighbor, mama Carol, and the second neighbor, Linda came to physical combat last week!
I was told that trade in the fittingly called 'trading center' of my Namugongo neighborhood stopped with hordes of people thronging, bee-lining towards my 'kisakaati' Fenced-off bunch of houses.

Now, mama carol is your typical early 20's aged next door lady neighbor, married with two kids, (second kid less than a year old) with a glum-faced husband who doesn't say much, and minds his own business at all times. You reckon his attitude has rubbed off on the wife, who at face value appears as this meek, timid voiced typically short and round bodied woman, the latter of which is a manifestation of her recent birth, as she goes about her business un-hooking dry clothes from the 'wire' just outside my front door, humming to herself, with her doe-eyed daughter firmly seated on her ample mid-section.

Linda on the other hand, appears as this spirited early 20's woman who gave birth young and had to miss her late teens. She figures the clock is ticking and therefore parties wild with her cousins who are a constant presence in her 2 bedroom apartment. She is tall, big-boned and dark, a typical eastern-uganda look.
Her husband works and lives out of town so Linda is left to her own devices most of the time hence the partying till A.M on most nights.
Her constant parties and visitors will leave you wondering whether she gets time to herself, not to mention the noise, but your furrowed brow is soon smoothened when she comes to your front door and softly taps, with a big smile and a slice of cake in hand from her party.

When i came to this 'kisakaati' two years ago, i found both families had moved in, the two women were good friends with one happily camping at the other's house during the day, as both are house-frau's.
A year down the road, i started noticing a certain heaviness in the air between these two women, mostly observed on Linda's face as she would angrily purse her lips as she saw mama carol trudge by.. that and the little jibes she would recite about Mama carol when she(linda) would come to my house for an idle chit-chat.
A few days ago, the animosity came to a dramatic crescendo when these two exchanged blows, in the signature cat-fight way, characterized by hair-twisting, face-clawing, resounding slaps and ripping of dresses meant to humiliate by showing the adversaries nether body parts.
"I was sleeping, after i had pulled an all-nighter for i had a paper the next day", my other neighbor Julian regaled the entire tale to me this morning as we rode to town together.
"I then heard ear-shattering expletives from outside, so i rushed to the window to see what had befallen our serene neighborhood, next thing i saw were these two women, linda and mama-carol locked in combat, wrestling and pulling each other's hair out. I couldn't believe what i was seeing, my first reaction was, Oh my God, what is happening!? i rushed out to break up the fight but hesitated as from my quick assessment, i could be seriously hurt! Linda was pummeling Mama carol with blows so expertly administered, that i felt myself cringe from the sound. Sickening blows kept on coming. Mama carol's feeble attempts to ward them off was not helping at all. Her 5 year old daughter rushed and pulled her sister off mama carol, as she had not bothered to put her in a safe place before engaging. 5 year old seized her sister in her arms and started running in all directions, confused at what was happening to her mother, no less.
As if this was not sufficient drama, two of Linda's female cousins, all tall, dark and big boned like their cousin, also rushed out of the house and started pummeling the object while screaming "leave our sister, you evil bitch!' leave her!

Mama Carol's gangly teenage nephew rushed from the house and started screaming at the wasps who were beating the living day lights out his Aunt, saying 'gwe, mumuleke, ngenda kubawatula!' You, leave her alone, i am going to annihilate you' The angry girl trio killing machine responded as if in tandem; 'you come, we will break your legs, you will face the same fate as your aunt'
It could have been the sureity with which this was said, or what exactly was said that forced the gangly teenager to quickly, like a stoned dog, retreat to the inner recesses of carols house, and close the door firmly.

Meanwhile, the fight continues. Linda, now utterly, utterly incensed pulls out yet another tuft of mama carol's hairs and with a victorious swing of her arm, shows it off to all the neighbors who have gathered from as far as the next trading center. The whole compound had now become a stadium with a mob of people, both young and old, enjoying, in a typical ugandan way, the drama that was unfolding, as if that was not enough, they kept on goading Linda 'Mwongere!' 'give her some more' - (roughly translated)
Sickly images of pools of blood on concrete, or gouged out eyes kept on flashing through my mind. I couldn't take this vulgar display anymore so with a sound, mustered just for this occasion, at the top of my voice and a stern arm swimg to match, barked 'STOP! ALL OF YOU, GET BACK INTO YOUR HOUSES!' In retrospect, i tried to think of that moment, it could have been the authority of my mustered voice or a sudden gust of sanity that could have quickly descended onto these women timing my scream, that, right then and there, did the magic, for the two women reluctantly unlocked from the deadly embrace.
'i quickly ushered Linda and her mercenaries into their house and with purpose, locked the door and turned the key, Meanwhile, mama carol dragged her battered body slowly back into her own house.
Shorthly after, the gangly teenager came out, of course after the coast became clear, and like a bogus, feeble dog that just had to bark one last time, even after the thief has seized the belongings, murdered the master, and jumped the fence, started screaming in his recently broken voice, his acne quivering on his face, "Mwe bakazi mwe, mulina sirimu, muli bi malaya....." (you women, you have HIV, you are sluts!) then added a typically immature one "temukomangawo okutusaba obutungulu" (never come back here begging for onions)
Linda and her troop on the other side of the wall, seized the windows, and like agonized prisoners, rattled them, and screamed back somethings unintelligible.

I turned to the gangly boy and ordered him to retreat to the house to which, feeble dog style, tail between its legs, whimpered off and closed the door safely behind him.
The neighbors, who at this point had become bored by the non-action, slowly started streaming off to go about their daily business, but off course the kids stayed around all evening, waiting for the encore that didn't come, and instead settled for a re-enactment of the earlier days events, word for word, in typical kiddish style.

By the time my neighbor was done with the story, i couldn't believe, i was utterly bewildered, and short of words, but had to, really had to share this story with y'all!

Oh how i missed this youtube moment!!!!!!!