Last week, one of my colleagues invited me for a Yoga class. We made a date for Tuesday (Yesterday) 'Wear something loose' she said.
And so i did.
I have always loved exercise, generally, though i thought more (as do many people) that Yoga is mostly an 80% of the time, passive trance inciting exercise where one sits and chants some mantra repeatedly till he/she attains (or pretends to attain) a state of euphoria, mind undulation, floating awareness..., as i thought that it's active. The latter state-of-mind clearly stamped out, the constant wincing as i type out on this keyboard maintaining as a rude reminder.
We went to this American club in off Makindye known for its famous flea markets where expats leaving the country regularly sell off their artifacts and other things.
After renting a yoga mat from the fitness center, i was whisked off to this room at the south side of the expansive house/center/club (all in one) and was welcomed by this ugandan instructor, 5.8", slight build, ebony skin, unplacable accent with matching, exaggerated arm (and leg) gesticulations.
Quickly we were told to get onto our knees. Here i am thinking, Kinky!! Unplacable accent starts drawling these commands, '...... put left limb infront of right limb, raise head above and arch your spine, feel the tensing of the muscle (says biologic name of mentioned muscle)...' '....stand on your right leg with your right toes digging into the ground, raise your left leg behind you at a 90degree angle to your right leg, lean forward until your spine lines perfectly with your left leg.... for those who want to go higher, raise your back until you do a U shape..... feel your body align.....your chakra..'
'Did he say chakra?' i mused to myself.
He said Align. Interesting, as i thought that particular word was used more for cars.
The exercises were too strenuous, i thought i tore something in the process. One and a half hour long execution of the most impossible swan shapes and curves i thought i last saw on TV, done by those pint sized Japanese freak acrobats.
At around 7.30pm we were told to lie down and relax our muscles, in a strait-jacket shape with our eyes closed. Unplacable accent then crept around covering our eyes with a cloth filled with crystal-like consistency, lavender scented stones. These had a clean, calming smell that quickly relaxed me. He went ahead and covered the entire length of our bodies with light burka like pieces, and went ahead and sprayed potpourri all around the room.
We were ordered to stay still and meditate.
Now, i have never meditated, my mind is too crazy for that. Yes, i always sit down and think, hell, i do that on a daily basis as the execution of my work tasks needs a lucid mind and well thought out task executiion techniques, BUT i have never really sat down in an ape-like trance, clearing my mind of all thought and try to attain a state of ethereal hypnosis.
I dont know what that is, but i sure want to try out, and this is what was required of me in yesterday's Yoga class.
As the instructor rustled about, unzipping bags and taking out Godknowswhat, i couldn't help but wonder what he was removing, that he was probably retrieving some oriental charm that would take a life, shape, form of its own and bite all of us into next-year! But the African in me was quicky doused by the consciousness that i was in a real studio and was doing real, yoga things, and that if unplacable accent did his job well, that i would probably be back next Tuesday.
'... now slowly regain your consciousness, feel your spirit taking form again, find your center...' the instructor softly droned, his voice sounding like a radio whose volume was being turned up, slowly-slowly.
I quickly, impatiently shook off the covers and darted my eyes around the now darkened room, as if expecting to see the receeding tail of the monster that could have been dancing around the room...
And with an awkward sound to his voice, sounding, not, like we were getting off the Alladin carpet from the flight over Asia, but, that it was time for us to fork out the money and pay up, for the session was complete, he said '...hmm..mmm and that is the end of today's session...' to which we awkwardly cleared our throats in in return, and paid up.
The whole experience left me with an ambivalence, a "what was that?" question, a curiosity that will only be placated by thorough internet research, and perhaps another visit to unplacable accents' domain for some of those indecipherable indian words....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Diets!
Ok, i know there are as many diet plans as there are spam emails in my inbox, and believe me, those are MANY. However, i cannot help but wonder about some of the success stories i have read about on the internet and the efficacies of the diets thereof.
To start off, i do not have a weight problem, i am as fit as should be, with no pouring midsections or God forbid, double chins...
That said, i do miss my body as it were at 21. Lean and spry. (You know the typical 21 year old body) I am 100% sure there is a medical acronym for my 'condition' (missing the 21 year old body), though i don't care to find out.
Just like the man who is scared of heights, or the girl who shreiks when she sees a grass-hopper.
I know, when you turn 25 or thereabouts, your body fills out. Suddenly the attractively gaunt cheekbones get rounded, the rack as it were gets a little softer, you know...
Forget about those freaks of nature, those abberations, the skinny ones who eat and dont gain a single kilo. We all know life has its variations, and those are natures' ways of showing off her versatility!
I have gone through a couple of phases, when i was 26, i used to run the marathon like the wind, with stamina on track that would so badly be envied by a 65yr old man in the bedroom.
I recently turned 28 and all i can think about is diets!
Yes, i know the adage, the horror stories, 'He(or she) dieted all his life, and instead became a compulsive overeater, gained 10 stone and was unhappy for the rest of his life'
The nutritionists who crow menacingly, 'You have to eat healthy, the body needs this, and that....'
Where do i draw the much needed line separating healthy from fattening?
I have friends who have all sorts of ridiculous information about food 'If you cut down on your carbohydrates, your teeth will fall out!' That is lame as it is incredulous!
I and have read lots of literature about the body, and what it needs. Put simply, give the body more than it needs and it will store up for the winter! If you give your body more carbohydrates than it needs, it will convert them into fat and store them in your midsection!
This sustains the efficacy of the low-carb diet. It is splashed all over the internet. Pros and cons, sensationalists and cynics alike all sing the same song.
I am a recent convert.
Shoot me someone, please!!
I am intently studying 'The Atkins diet.'
Major Pro - I absolutely dont snack between meals because i eat mostly proteins. As they get digested slower, cravings for sugar are not as frequent.
Major Pro - I enjoy all my steak and vegetables, my favorite anyway, i dont cringe when i see fatty meat or chicken.... and ignore most of the complex carbohydrates like processed foods (flour, etc)
Major Con - The ketones (these are generated as a result of breakdown of stored fat into ready energy for the body, in absence of carb energy) cause a slight bad breath odor in the first days of the restrictive diet stage, but this clears if you drink lots of water.
Major Con - In the first two weeks, no ALCOHOL! now why did they have to go and do that! Well, Atkins says alcohol can cause erratic blood sugar levels, cravings etc, and as we all know, beer has lots of carbs, spirits don't help either cause the mixers usually have sugar in them, and these will knock you straight out of ketosis.
It always gets difficult to stick to one diet, i know, but it is healthy to adopt a certain way of living (WOL), eating what your body needs, and not what it wants NOW.
I have always challenged my body to do things, since it is MINE, (i am stressing the possessive) I want to be able to lose 5 Kilos to fit into something for the weekend, and gain 5 kilos again when i want to. Isn't that amazing?
So i should say, hello 21!
To start off, i do not have a weight problem, i am as fit as should be, with no pouring midsections or God forbid, double chins...
That said, i do miss my body as it were at 21. Lean and spry. (You know the typical 21 year old body) I am 100% sure there is a medical acronym for my 'condition' (missing the 21 year old body), though i don't care to find out.
Just like the man who is scared of heights, or the girl who shreiks when she sees a grass-hopper.
I know, when you turn 25 or thereabouts, your body fills out. Suddenly the attractively gaunt cheekbones get rounded, the rack as it were gets a little softer, you know...
Forget about those freaks of nature, those abberations, the skinny ones who eat and dont gain a single kilo. We all know life has its variations, and those are natures' ways of showing off her versatility!
I have gone through a couple of phases, when i was 26, i used to run the marathon like the wind, with stamina on track that would so badly be envied by a 65yr old man in the bedroom.
I recently turned 28 and all i can think about is diets!
Yes, i know the adage, the horror stories, 'He(or she) dieted all his life, and instead became a compulsive overeater, gained 10 stone and was unhappy for the rest of his life'
The nutritionists who crow menacingly, 'You have to eat healthy, the body needs this, and that....'
Where do i draw the much needed line separating healthy from fattening?
I have friends who have all sorts of ridiculous information about food 'If you cut down on your carbohydrates, your teeth will fall out!' That is lame as it is incredulous!
I and have read lots of literature about the body, and what it needs. Put simply, give the body more than it needs and it will store up for the winter! If you give your body more carbohydrates than it needs, it will convert them into fat and store them in your midsection!
This sustains the efficacy of the low-carb diet. It is splashed all over the internet. Pros and cons, sensationalists and cynics alike all sing the same song.
I am a recent convert.
Shoot me someone, please!!
I am intently studying 'The Atkins diet.'
Major Pro - I absolutely dont snack between meals because i eat mostly proteins. As they get digested slower, cravings for sugar are not as frequent.
Major Pro - I enjoy all my steak and vegetables, my favorite anyway, i dont cringe when i see fatty meat or chicken.... and ignore most of the complex carbohydrates like processed foods (flour, etc)
Major Con - The ketones (these are generated as a result of breakdown of stored fat into ready energy for the body, in absence of carb energy) cause a slight bad breath odor in the first days of the restrictive diet stage, but this clears if you drink lots of water.
Major Con - In the first two weeks, no ALCOHOL! now why did they have to go and do that! Well, Atkins says alcohol can cause erratic blood sugar levels, cravings etc, and as we all know, beer has lots of carbs, spirits don't help either cause the mixers usually have sugar in them, and these will knock you straight out of ketosis.
It always gets difficult to stick to one diet, i know, but it is healthy to adopt a certain way of living (WOL), eating what your body needs, and not what it wants NOW.
I have always challenged my body to do things, since it is MINE, (i am stressing the possessive) I want to be able to lose 5 Kilos to fit into something for the weekend, and gain 5 kilos again when i want to. Isn't that amazing?
So i should say, hello 21!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Over? Or under 25? That is the Question!!
When does one say it's cross generation?
A friend once posted something on facebook that said, "you know it's cross-generation when you are 40, and you and your partners cumulative age is not over 55.
As funny as this sounds, it sets me thinking.
A fellow blogger posted something about "if over 25, date over 25" (not in those exact words, but that's the crux)
I will argue for and against, for personally, i have been (and still are) confused by this whole dating over or under.
Over 25 has its cons, one; you can 'get' each other, you have both trudged the road, have your experiences tucked under, forgetten all about milk time and gotten down to business.
Thats good in itself, with the right 25 and above.
Everyone longs for another (mature person) who tunes the same wave-length like they do, speaks as well as they do, and gives as well as they take. Not a tick at the side or a moocher who takes selfishly, like some of the younger ones, someone with a JOB, (and i cannot even begin to stress how important that is) can take care of themselves and won't ask for airtime.
If one is mature enough, confident about themselves, goes about their business purposefully, calls you (does not beep) at the right time, looks good enough and swells you up with pride when you introduce him(or her) to your friends, that is good stuff, all good stuff.
However, when they are over 25, alright, but still ask for airtime, drink too much, speak rudely to your friends to a point where you would rather not introduce them, it all becomes an itchy, sob story.
Lately, i have come across 25 and older guys (or girls) who behave like kids, Throwing childish tantrums, farting openly (though that may be attributed to poor upbringing), condescendingly obstinate or plain lazy, i get 'daylights out of me' BORED!
We all get a chance to be young once, but age pulls us in as naturally as it was designed to do. The more we protest, (stay out till late, dress less conservatively, lace our syllables with heavy jargon), the more age manifests, brilliantly, bitterly! The more it shines its torch on us, quietly scorning us, like a harsh, white dentists' light glaring down on mangled teeth, examining, showing lines of festering gums and plaque caught with a coral reef consistency.
The realization that this is a one way traffic route, we reach out for those younger than us to vicariously live through them, experience through them what we missed while we were younger...
We look at their perfect bodies and get pulled back into time when we had perfect bodies, everything in place, not consciously tucked in(or sucked in), unbroken skin, clear open smiles not tainted by life and its cynicisms, exuberance and huge draughts of youthful optimism and determination. We throw all caution to the wind and we take the plunge.
For some, it works out, those who are lucky to get young'uns who, despite the obviously young countenance, think older than they look, will to learn, hold their own in an intellectual fete, and are not GOD FORBID, under 21 years of age!
For others, all hell breaks loose, belongings get stolen, lives robbed, dignities get soiled and blackmail takes its only acceptable direction; young lout meets older, cushier romantic.
Its as old as time itself, this thing, we are only having our go!
A friend once posted something on facebook that said, "you know it's cross-generation when you are 40, and you and your partners cumulative age is not over 55.
As funny as this sounds, it sets me thinking.
A fellow blogger posted something about "if over 25, date over 25" (not in those exact words, but that's the crux)
I will argue for and against, for personally, i have been (and still are) confused by this whole dating over or under.
Over 25 has its cons, one; you can 'get' each other, you have both trudged the road, have your experiences tucked under, forgetten all about milk time and gotten down to business.
Thats good in itself, with the right 25 and above.
Everyone longs for another (mature person) who tunes the same wave-length like they do, speaks as well as they do, and gives as well as they take. Not a tick at the side or a moocher who takes selfishly, like some of the younger ones, someone with a JOB, (and i cannot even begin to stress how important that is) can take care of themselves and won't ask for airtime.
If one is mature enough, confident about themselves, goes about their business purposefully, calls you (does not beep) at the right time, looks good enough and swells you up with pride when you introduce him(or her) to your friends, that is good stuff, all good stuff.
However, when they are over 25, alright, but still ask for airtime, drink too much, speak rudely to your friends to a point where you would rather not introduce them, it all becomes an itchy, sob story.
Lately, i have come across 25 and older guys (or girls) who behave like kids, Throwing childish tantrums, farting openly (though that may be attributed to poor upbringing), condescendingly obstinate or plain lazy, i get 'daylights out of me' BORED!
We all get a chance to be young once, but age pulls us in as naturally as it was designed to do. The more we protest, (stay out till late, dress less conservatively, lace our syllables with heavy jargon), the more age manifests, brilliantly, bitterly! The more it shines its torch on us, quietly scorning us, like a harsh, white dentists' light glaring down on mangled teeth, examining, showing lines of festering gums and plaque caught with a coral reef consistency.
The realization that this is a one way traffic route, we reach out for those younger than us to vicariously live through them, experience through them what we missed while we were younger...
We look at their perfect bodies and get pulled back into time when we had perfect bodies, everything in place, not consciously tucked in(or sucked in), unbroken skin, clear open smiles not tainted by life and its cynicisms, exuberance and huge draughts of youthful optimism and determination. We throw all caution to the wind and we take the plunge.
For some, it works out, those who are lucky to get young'uns who, despite the obviously young countenance, think older than they look, will to learn, hold their own in an intellectual fete, and are not GOD FORBID, under 21 years of age!
For others, all hell breaks loose, belongings get stolen, lives robbed, dignities get soiled and blackmail takes its only acceptable direction; young lout meets older, cushier romantic.
Its as old as time itself, this thing, we are only having our go!
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