Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Our expectations

When we meet new people. Yes!

We have made many mistakes from relationships past (or many mistakes have been made to us) We have learned, we have grown, we have ran the gauntlet of guilt, remorse, pain, and we have come out the other side smelling shit.

And now here we are, revving, raring to go - on to the next one, BUT WAIT!!
Our past follies and mistakes have made us tough, our hides are tough, cynical and tentative.
We scowl hard, we examine and counter examine, we dip a finger, we decide its tepid, and we pull out, we dip a toe, then we take a reluctant plunge.
When they say "i love you", we answer "and i like you too."
We lock all our doors, we lock them in, we hide the key under our pillows, we do not want to get robbed again, of our dignity, our grace.
In fact, our cynicism, like a cloud, has surrounded us, its gray pallor won't let us dig in - into ourselves, into the people who say they love us.

Our expectations have dipped to a whole new low, ergo prompting disregard of our 'lovers' gestures of love and fondness. "Too predictable" we pine, "too cliche" we whinge.

We form little impervious groups-of friends. 'The cynics' we call ourselves. We look at each other with knowing looks after sharing - with each other - the little things (we call them) that our new lovers have done, contemptuously disregarding as we dissect them, a census.

If only we would give our new lovers a chance! A chance to love us fervidly.
If only we would make the much needed disconnect, love, lose THEN love again, blank slate.
If only we would love in series, and not parallel!
If only we would fall in love, real love, once and for all!

4 comments:

  1. Hmmm...something to think about, and yes, I am guilty of such.
    I think the thing is...once you have known love (real or not), once you have been with that one person that subsequently serves as the berometer against which you measure all other attempts at loving you, how do you open mindedly accept something substandard?

    Just a thought.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. TTdouble,

    well said. However, not necessarily substandard.
    There are so many different ways that different people are capable of loving us. We just have to look on the other-side of the cookie. Our lovers' strengths are different. Their appearances different, their characters, and more so their temperaments.
    Each chooses to love us differently from the last, and like the adage goes "different strokes for different folks'
    Let's milk the entire udder and not just one tit!

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  4. Stripped naked and layed bare, dissected, innards spilling. I felt like that was written for me....Such a true depiction of so many of us, such a timely warning, a ringing alarm screaming at us that we might be losing more than we think, our innocence, our ability to love and much worse, the best years of our lives...Thks SKZ

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