Thursday, April 1, 2010

Kamunye's deplorable picture.

Before i go there, let me indulge you a little in todays new vision hint:

Olara Otunnu (UPC Flag-bearer) is set to walk down the aisle with a one 'Jocelyn Bafokugamba'
New vision says Joyce and Olara met about three years ago in France... 'but their romance has only assumed a new sense of urgency in recent weeks.' Hmmmm...
'His impending marriage should improve his political fortunes in a country which puts a high premium on the family man.' They add.

Either its April Fools day and they mean to mock Olara, grating salt into the rabid insinuations that have been plaguing the poor man since he made an appearance on the Uganda political scene, or it may actually have a hint of truth in it, but i remain skeptical.

On to the next one!
A few days ago, a friend showed me an article in a Luganda version of the Red Pepper infamy called "Kamunye"
Kamunye follows hot on the heels of red-pepper, brandishing cack to all Luganda reading Ugandans willing to 'wag their dogs', Kamunye generously follows routine to indulge the land with images and stories of astoundingly repugnating proportions. A bare breast here, a dirty look up the skirt there, and all sorts of sex-talk that even your garden-variety loud-mouthed self-appointed sex braggadocio will grimace at when his eyes get confronted by rag-tag.
I digress;
Back to the story;
It's about a pastor who was caught in Jinja, flagrante delicto with two guys and,... hold your breath... a GOAT!
Kamunye, the frivolous daily (or weekly) doesn't stop there. It prints a picture!
A picture that is not worthy of a news daily, a picture so sordid i felt compelled to write about it on this blog, a picture that makes you bite your tongue, spill your wine, and choke on your hors d'oeuvres all in rapid succession.
Let me give you a mind visual. Two guys, buck naked, kissing in the background of the picture, holding hands and rubbing nethers against each other, eyes scrunched closed in utter euphoria. Pastor in the foreground, naked as well, looking down at a GOAT! Yes, a goat, giving him head. The pastor looks completely taken in the moment, his eyes are brimming with desire, and the goat! the goat looks like it's expertly sucking him off! Like it has been trained to do this sort of thing, and the picture in question just goes to show that it's another day in the goats' sucking (or suckling) days.

The picture first repulsed me to the core, and then i burst out in raucous laughter, and then something hit me, and i rapidly went solemn. This could be just a prank by this cheap daily, making a statement, equating homosexuality = beastiality. Therefore it's not a big deal that both repulsive acts take place in the same dingy room in Bugembe, Jinja.
Bugembe, famous for its tarty prostitutes, rampant witchcraft with men and women cursing each other in a movemental frenzy, resulting into children born with no eyes or something dark like that, snakes born in the place of one of a twin pair, et al.

My second reaction after peeking at the picture was disbelief, and i made known my reservations to my friend. My skepticism has it that this could be a super-imposed picture, that the goat could have been expertly photo-shopped (inset in place of another person performing fellatio?)
That beastiality and homosexuality are swimming tandem (in that picture) justifies some of Uganda's homophobes who argue, to my chagrin, that homosexuality acts are on the same rung of the ladder with beastiality, and that both deserve the same hot skin-charring coals in the 9th hell.

The story in it's self made little meaning to me, but i did snatch a few sentences that alluded to homosexuality being a western thing. (As if the picture was not damning enough!)

Please, by all means, pick up that copy of Kamunye, issue is a few days gone i know, gasp at lewd picture, read story surreptitiously and subsequently burn page.
This thing should burn out of our heads sooner rather than later, as unbelievingly as it was presented, hot and fast.
I shudder!


  1. "a picture so sordid ...that makes you bite your tongue, spill your wine, and choke on your hors d'oeuvres all in rapid succession."
    ROTFLMAO...I like the compilation of all technically repulsive vices in Uganda, first two "homos"(tremble), pastor(Kayanja flashbacks-Shudder and cold sweat), fellatio loving livestock(heave heave vomit) and all of them together in the backwaters of Witchville Jinja(convulse and foam at the mouth). Just what we love in the tabloids...Great read

  2. Was this Pastor David Munara?